Stop and Stare
by riverx
Summary: Alicia and Josh can't see what the other sees. Can they mend their relationship? Inspired by the song.


It wasn't often that Alicia was terrified of something. It was even more unusual when Josh was terrified of the same thing. The two had many things in common, but they were very different people. The fear written on both of their faces was enough to cause them to sit far apart on the stone steps of Kemp's patio in his backyard. The noises from the party could be heard by Alicia and Josh but it failed to bother them.

Alicia shivered as the wind picked up on the unusually cold July night. She had the thin material of her knit sweater bunched up in her fists that were tightly clenched in her lap. She bit down on her lip tightly and held back the whimper that was threatening to escape.

Beside her Josh tugged his Yankees cap lower in hopes to hide his brown eyes. Alicia assumed it was because he didn't want to look at her but it was really because he too had fear written in his eyes. He fumbled as he pulled the pack of cigarettes and lighter out of his pocket. His hands shook as they moved to pull a cigarette out, placing it between his lips as he went to light it. He quickly inhaled and exhaled, smoke puffing out. Out of the corner of his eye he noticed Alicia wrinkle her nose in disgust. He knew she hated it when he smoke but due to his emotions he need a stress reliever.

"Jesus Josh," Alicia finally sighed quietly. "Can you not smoke right now?"

Josh turned to glance at her. He felt anger bubble up in him, as well as guilt. She held his stare with wide eyes. As soon as she felt her lips tremble she quickly glanced away.

"Sorry," he spoke, his voice raspy.

"Whatever," Alicia chocked out. The two sat in silence for a few more minutes, more glances traded between the two. Each glance killed them a bit more.

"Are we going to talk about this or what?" Josh asked, risking another glance to his girlfriend. Alicia let out an scoff.

"Now you want to talk?" She grumbled almost to herself.

"God Leesh," Josh said, the exasperation clear in his voice. "I'm trying here, okay?"

"So am I!" She exclaimed. "You have no idea how hard I've been trying! You just don't get it, do you?"

"Get what? What do you want me to get, Alicia?" Josh had nearly had enough. He stood up and started to pace.

Alicia gripped the roots of her hair and squeezed her eyes shut tightly. She counted slowly in her head while taking deep breaths. This was not going the way she wanted it to. It was obvious to everyone that couple had been having problems lately. They fought, they didn't talk for long periods of time, but they didn't break up. Not once had either of them mentioned ending their relationship.

Alicia had hoped that tonight would be the night they would finally mend things. They had both had a good day and it was the third day they had gone without fighting. She assumed that because of that they would both be able to have a civil conversation about their relationship.

But as she sat there, praying she wouldn't cry, she felt their relationship start to crumble beneath them. Josh continued smoking and pacing on the other side of the patio. It just seemed like neither of them could see what the other saw. And it was absolutely killing them.

Josh didn't know what to say or do anymore. He was completely lost. Everyday he thought they were moving, but everyday they went nowhere. They were stuck in this never-ending cycle of frustration and confusion. Josh couldn't see himself leaving Alicia, but he couldn't see them solving their problems either.

It was clear that they were both scared. Alicia didn't know if they were both scared of breaking up or being stuck in this relationship. Josh feared that it was almost too late to fix things. He thought that it was too late for Alicia to forgive him for everything they had been through.

Josh finally stopped pacing and turned to look at Alicia. He could feel his heart break as he watched her body shake from her silent sobs. Her arms were wrapped around her knee with her head resting on top of them. He internally screamed. Why couldn't they just solve this?

Josh didn't want to blame himself, because he knew it was both of their faults, but seeing her cry made him want to run away so he could no longer make her sad. Josh wanted to run so far away she couldn't follow the heartbreak he took with her.

He didn't know how long he stood there, watching her helplessly. He thought he was moving, but he stood still, simply staring. The fear was paralyzing him. He finally managed to walk back towards her, praying for his feet to remain steady. Josh sat down beside her and rested his hand on the small of her back. He had no idea what to say or do. At first he felt her tense up beneath his hand which made him want to cry even more. She slowly relaxed though, leaning into him a bit more. Her breathing evened out again and her crying stopped.

Alicia looked up at him with trembling lips and watery eyes. Josh felt his own eyes sting with tears.

"I don't what to do, Josh," she whispered.

"I don't know what to say, Leesh," he replied quietly.

Alicia let out a shaky breath and hesitantly rested her head against his broad shoulder. In response to her actions, Josh wrapped his arm around her shoulder, pulling her shivering body closer to his warm one.

"We're kinda a mess, aren't we?" He said after a moment. She let out a small laugh.

"We just can't get it right," Alicia said.

"Maybe we won't. Maybe we never will, but I don't care." Josh told her. "We may not see what the other sees but I don't want to give up on us yet."

Alicia stared at him with wide eyes. "Do you really mean that?"

"Of course," Josh replied. The two stared at each other. Alicia didn't know what to say and Josh didn't know what he wanted her to say or do. But Alicia knew that she wanted the same thing.

Without another word Alicia pressed her lips to his. It was a sloppy kiss and it certainly wasn't the best one they had shared but it had so much underlying meaning to it that it didn't matter. They had both been waiting for the moment they agreed on the same thing. Alicia knew she didn't have to say anything. Her actions spoke for themselves.

When Josh pulled away he looked down at Alicia. She noticed that the fear was finally gone in his eyes. She hoped that the same went for her.

"Are we okay?" Josh asked. Alicia nodded softly.

"We're okay. I think we might even see the same thing," she told him. Josh couldn't help his smile from overtaking his features.

"That's exactly what I was hoping for."

**A/N**

**So I was reading a one shot on tumblr and the person that wrote it said to listen to Stop and Stare by One Republic when reading it. As soon as I heard the song I fell in love with it. It is such a beautiful song and I couldn't help but write something inspired by it. And this one shot came out of it! I hoped you liked it and please let me know what you thought of it.**


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